Tag Archives: Acedia

The Trap is Sprung (10)

Book II: Chapter 10
July 4

My vision of the past continued – fresh off a success at resisting the Room of Greed, Miriam (and I) eagerly took on the next room.

I could sense Miriam’s confidence growing now and at first it seemed that her faith was justified — for not much was happening inside the room called Acedia first.

We saw examples of overwhelming laziness and indifference. Some people were simply unwilling to take action – either to help themselves or others no matter the potential reward or danger. Others had fantastic talents that were readily apparent, yet they too refused to act in order to share their gifts. Potential was left untapped. Grace left undone. And although unfortunate, Miriam was unaffected — in fact she almost allowed herself to be amused.

The bizarre scene inside Acedia

For my part, I was content to just let my mind languish for a bit. I actually began to feel a kind of peace – I must say, it was pretty nice.

However, we both failed to notice when the allure of the room began to <change>.

Soon we began to witness examples of melancholy, apathy, and depression. We saw others trapped in a world of joylessness — refusing to allow themselves to enjoy the Goodness of God. (I felt myself drawn to this crowd).

“Sloth” by artist Steven Burkett

We began to feel a sense of spiritual apathy – with images of the faithful being discouraged from their religious work.

Tristitia (Sadness) was confronting us — for Acedia was historically more defined by spiritual discontent than by mere physical laziness – yet too late did we remember this important fact!

“Tristitia & Dolor”

I could tell that Miriam felt an uneasiness of spirit and she began to grow restless, but I paid little attention to her because of a sudden I could sense my very soul being sucked into the room.  

Miriam tried to remove herself from the room… but I wouldn’t let her take us out.

I forcefully resisted her in the spirit world — for now I realized that I didn’t want to ever leave!

Panicked, Miriam called upon God to help her.

But no deliverance came.

And I rejoiced as Doubt (in the form of my spirit) assaulted her.

Do you really love God with all her heart? I shouted at her as a mysterious voice from within the Room.

With all your mind?

With all your strength?

With all your soul?

I tried to trick Miriam into remaining here forever.

In the past, I knew her answers to all my questions had been “YES!”, but using the power of this room, I convinced Miriam that now she didn’t know for sure. I told her that her love for God was trickling away – that which had ever sustained her was seemingly insufficient… draining… absent.

What good is your mission? I asked. If The Scriptures are truly divine, do they really need YOUR actions to be fulfilled? Surely, if they were true, then God would fulfill them regardless of what YOU do? Haven’t you worked long enough? Two millennia? Certainly you deserve a chance to rest for a bit!

I could sense Miriam’s desire to allow herself to perhaps just sit down and rest a bit.

No, to lie down. I encouraged. To sleep.

To be.  Yes, to just Be.

Just Beeeeeeeee.

“The Nightmare” By Fuselli

Suddenly The Blackness engulfed us…

(Was this The End I had for so long been hoping for?)


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11 – The Chair of Wrath
Book II Table of Contents

Miriam’s Sins (9)

Book II: Chapter 9
July 4

Although it was July 4th for me in real time, I continued watching a vision of of Miriam from the prior week – I’d just witnessed her leave Ma’bus’ servant Iffat to fall in a heap, as she now raced to the dictator’s torture chambers.

The hallway was empty when she arrived – and ominous — this was not a place that anyone would want to intrude into. Nonetheless, Miriam read the scripts plated on each door: Luxuria, Gula, Avaritia, Acedia, Ira, Invidia, and Superbia.

“The Seven Deadly Sins,” she said grimly. “Do not be far from me, Lord, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.”

Brushing aside her fears, she began to <probe> into the rooms…

(As you’ll soon see, this was an odd vision because not only was I looking in on Miriam’s physical body, but I actually felt like my own mind was transported into the rooms too!)

As soon as OUR minds <moved> into the room, I could tell that Miriam found more than she bargained for because a surprising <force> surged back against our psyches and Miriam’s physical body was violently thrown backwards in the hallway outside!

Although I was fine (and actually somewhat amused by the whole thing), it took Miriam a few moments to recover from her daze. This time she was more cautious as she moved back towards the first door – merely peeking her mind inside verses rushing in like before.

The forces were still there to confront us, but this time, Miriam (and I) were prepared for their mental onslaught. Steeling herself against their illusory blows, Miriam began to search through the room. Yet once again, she apparently underestimated the force she was contending with — for even though a vision of burning flames did not affect her, I could tell that Miriam was appalled by what she saw — a scene of total debauchery.

Lust by Neeta Patel

The room was filled images of with every kind of sexual deviance known to man: adultery, bestiality, rape, incest, and further transgressions worse than these — for this was Luxuria, and it held the Chair of Lust!  

<Ugh!> Miriam pulled her mind (and mind) back from the horrible visions and left the room.

Once again she took some time to gather herself.

“I must go back in,” Miriam said breathlessly, sucking hard at the limited air afforded by her face mask. “If Alan is there, I have to find him.” And looking up to heaven, she prayed, “Be not far off, O Lord. You are my strength!”

Cautiously Miriam pushed her mind back into the obscene room.

Visions of sexual immorality assaulted her…overwhelmed her… beckoned to her. She did her best to try to stay above the fray, searching for Alan within this madness, yet the longer she allowed her mind to remain inside Luxuria, the more that Miriam found herself being pulled towards the obsessive transgressions.

(As for me, I didn’t even try to resist. What will be, will be. And as an old man who hasn’t known a woman for what seems like centuries, well…)

Slowly, more and more of the people committing these terrible acts became aware of Miriam’s presence. They called to her, inviting her to join them, showing her the satisfaction that could be obtained by participating in this excessive love of each other.

Miriam resisted.

She kept searching for Alan, but more of the participants called her to join them — to submit to them, to forget about the future and enjoy the PLEASURE OF NOW.

Miriam continued to resist.

Yet, the scene grew more intense.

The acts more obscene.

The flames stronger and hotter.

Soon, Miriam felt herself being pulled in by the lechers. Her inhibitions were clearly weakening…

(By now, even I was getting a bit appalled at what was going on, and yet…)

<NO!> Miriam pulled her mind out of Luxuria. “Alan is not in there!” She hissed – HOPING that she was correct – and retreating away from this awful hallway.

I watched her run from the corridor and jump into the first lonely room she could find – she obviously needed time to gather herself and I knew that it would not be easy.


Nearly an hour later, after many tears and prayers, Miriam emerged from hiding and cautiously made her way back towards The Hallway of Woe — seemingly resigned to her fate.

By now, it was clear that each room, each Chair, would attempt to overwhelm Miriam with its Sin.

Understanding that she could not win this battle alone, I was not surprised to see her call upon her God, hoping that He could help her resist Temptation and thus find Alan, “But as for me, I will always have hope – I will praise Him more and more!”

Miriam then looked up at the next room – Gula — The Sin of Gluttony.

The Chair in Gula confronted us with conflicting images. We saw sins committed by those who had an excessive desire for food and by those who were purposefully withholding food from others.  We saw people eating too much. Eating too passionately. Eating everything – even THEMSELVES!

Despite her repulsion, I sensed Miriam realize that she herself hadn’t had anything to eat in over a day – and I felt her hunger gnaw at her. She started talking to herself about her next meal, then craving for some of the delicacies that she saw at the breakfast where Alan and Ma’bus dined, then desiring to fill herself with excessively costly foods, then hungering for the blood of animals, then salivating for the taboo…

(By now I was thirsting for some Jack – straight up. Please!! Very quickly I felt as if I was about to rip at my throat in an effort to overcome an unquenchable thirst)…

“Enough!” Again Miriam pulled us back. “Alan is not there.”

Having successfully resisted Gula’s temptations, Miriam took no time probing her mind into the third room.

We searched Avaritia – the Room of Covetousness. Once more a Chair confronted us with a sin against God. Here we saw the floor covered with mud, and more than a few people joyfully groveling in the dirt – totally fixated on earthly thoughts.

Elsewhere we witnessed scenes of disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, or treason – all which resulted in some form of quick, personal gain for the sinner. Looters, scavengers, hoarders – these too were out in force. Violent men took what they want. Others manipulated the weak to steal from them.

And everyone everywhere was overcome with GREED!

Once again, Miriam (and I) felt ourselves being enticed, but as soon as she confirmed that Alan was not inside, Miriam left this room and thus we were no worse for wear.

After that little victory, I could sense that Miriam’s confidence was growing.  However, she underestimated the power of “Slothfulness” and this would turn out to be a major mistake.

For it was the deadly sin Acedia that nearly did us in…


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10 – The Trap is Sprung!
Book II Table of Contents