Time shifted in my vision and and I now saw Alan and Miriam leave their hiding spot.
I guessed that it was probably sometime after midnight since the church was now deserted.
As for my friends, they were now dressed in black clothing, having ditched their bright tourist garb within the choir stall. Both wore black Nano Masks (although I guessed that Alan did so more because he wanted to impress Miriam than because he thought it was necessary against Covid).
“It’s after hours, security is tight.” Miriam whispered through her mask. “I can sense a number of the guards’ minds who are patrolling on foot, as well as those operating cameras. I’ll do my best to direct their thoughts elsewhere, but you must only move when I say so and only go where I tell you to. We have one chance at this. May the Lord be with us!”
Alan merely nodded, yet if he thought they would get moving immediately he was wrong – for Miriam merely stood in place without moving and her eyes became unfocused as her mind turned inward.
After long moments, I could tell Alan was getting more and more worried, yet just as he was getting ready to poke at Miriam, suddenly she hissed, “Now. Follow me. Quickly!”
I managed but a brief glance at one of the mosaics that I’d always found to be a curious edition to the Basilica’s collection – for Cristoforo Roncalli’s altarpiece representing the punishment of Ananias and Sapphira from Acts, Chapter Five was certainly NOT the most heartwarming of scenes – after all, Peter was quite unforgiving to that pair, wasn’t he? Nonetheless, Miriam didn’t give me much time to ponder that mystery, and instead she drove Alan behind the altar and right up to the massive mosaic, then she took her gloved thumb and pressed hard into the left eye of Sapphira – immediately a bottom section of the right arch clicked open – revealing another secret chamber!
(Now that’s interesting — even I wasn’t aware of this secret spot).
Miriam pushed Alan into the cramped darkness, “Ssssh! They’re coming.” And she pulled fast the portal behind her.
<Click. Clop. Click.> Roving footfalls sounded in the hallway.
Both of my friends held their breath, knowing that if the guard used his 5G sensors their Identichips would give away their positions.
<CLOP. CLOP.> The steps paused just outside the altar.
Seconds ticked anxiously by, until at last, <CLOP. Click. Click. Click.> The guard moseyed away.
Breathing a sigh of relief (a rather stupid gesture inside her mask) Miriam flicked her lighter, igniting a yellow glow and revealing that they were not just in a small stall like back in the Chapel of the Choir, but instead in a long hallway – one that led down into the darkness…
“Watch your step.” Miriam advised. “The way is narrow and the stone steps are centuries old. I’d move ahead of you, but there’s no room.”
She spoke the truth on that last, for Alan had to walk sideways in order to squeeze through the hallway – the ragged stones snagging at his clothes.
After they had descended about twenty stairs, the way leveled off, and after another ten paces, Miriam directed, “Stop here.”
The hallway had reached a triple doorway, giving Miriam the opportunity to take the lead. After choosing the far left door and going down more stairs, they were presented with a new set of doorways – here she went straight ahead. Another ten paces, another set of caves – another left and another stairway.
All the while both of my foolish friends had continued to wear their face masks (despite nobody else around and despite the fact that, as immortals, they were immune to Covid) – like so many others they’d long since been brainwashed on the need to live their lives in masks. (How sad, huh?)
Meanwhile, Miriam’s light flashed over the walls, revealing a glimpse of bones stacked into carved out sections of the cave.
“Catacombs?” Alan’s voice was muffled behind his mask. “Something more I didn’t know? Ugh!”
“They were crafted to look like such — La Papessa wanted to keep everything authentic and we agreed that if this vault was ever discovered that having the bones of unknown ‘saints’ would surely keep everyone preoccupied — away from the real purpose of this place.” She pulled down a cobweb, “Although it seems as if nobody has been down this far?”
By now the walls and floor had become slick, slowing their progress considerably. More than once Alan caught Miriam as she lost her balance and I could tell both of them were being taxed by this dark maze. Even still, onward they went over level, yet slippery ground.
Another set of doors, but just as Miriam was about to step down onto this next stairwell, Alan grabbed her, “Beware, the steps are gone!”
<tick-tick-trickle.> The pebbles under Miriam’s feet scruffed off the shelf, cascading down the hole before her.
After regaining her balance, she knelt and held her lighter out, “Three stairs are missing – leaving a jagged chasm. But, I can see the rest of the steps just a short jump ahead.”
“Miriam, I can’t let you go first on this.” Alan held her back. “What happens if you land on the steps but they crumble beneath you?”
“Don’t underestimate me. I call upon the Lord… now!” And she wriggled away from Alan and leapt like a cat into the darkness….
Leaving Alan’s gloved hand to grasp at thin air.
Luckily for Miriam, she’d successfully landed on the top step of the other side of the chasm and it held firm beneath her. “Praise God, I’m OK,” she called back to Alan. “Wait just a moment while I move down to give you room.” And after a pause, “OK, come on.”
Alan said a quick prayer and then he jumped into the inky darkness.
<CRACK!> Alan’s weight broke the step he landed on and it immediately started to crumbled – causing him to lose his balance and fall backwards as the hungry cavern below opened its maw to receive him.
God has set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom it.
I was sitting on my back porch, wasting another day. Off in the distance I spied a raccoon nosing around the area that covered the body of my intruder from a month ago. It set me to thinking…
I took another sip of my version of Stone Pale Ale and got ready to ponder further, when suddenly a new vision was forced upon me — a view of my friends as they continued on with their pointless escapade…
Alan and Miriam were now sitting at a corner table outside a small cafe in Rome. Like the other diners, my friends were masked and gloved and all the tables were socially distant – as always this was claimed to be for protection against the virus, but was in reality just another population control method to keep the people separated so they couldn’t ‘conspire’ against their NWO overlords. Waiters (read: guards) constantly checked on guests (read: patrolled) to ensure the diners wear wearing their specialized Meal Masks correctly.
(You’ll recall that Meal Masks were an invention that came out around 2022 that allowed diners to wear a specially fitted mask that had a small opening around the mouth. That opening could be used to insert a paper straw into for drinking liquids or it could be configured so that it sensed when food was near the face and thus briefly opened to allow the diner to insert a small amount into their mouth. When used in the latter manner, the masks included a timer that only allowed the diner to insert food no more than once per minute to ensure the diner wasn’t contaminating the air with too much of their own breath. All of this was beyond absurd in my opinion, since like everything else with the Covid plandemic, there wasn’t any science to support Meal Masks doing anything to prevent the spread of the virus, but since Dr. Flipflop and the WHO recommended Meal Masks they’d long since become a fixture at public restaurants. Meanwhile, on a more positive note, one of the unanticipated side effects of Meal Masks is that, by limiting people’s time to eat, they became a fantastic method for portion control and in turn weight loss. You’ll probably remember the Meal Mask Diets that were all the rage a few years back – when it seemed like every celebrity was peddling some version of their own glammed up Meal Mask that they sold for a massive upcharge – causing more than a few fools to spend their entire monthly UBI’s on so they could show off to their friends).
“Why didn’t you tell me you about Purgatory?” Alan was chagrined as he left his espresso untouched on the table.
“Alan, it was not my place to tell YOU about your own secrets.” Miriam soothed, knowing that he was both embarrassed and pained.
(Lord, do I really have to sit here and watch this lover’s quarrel?)
“But, Miriam, what a fool I have been in front of you all these years!”
“Of course — for surely if Jesus was willing to tell me about your purposes, why did I not realize he would explain to you about me? Oh, how bloody stupid I’ve been!”
“Alan, stop. What’s done is done. I knew eventually you would come clean with me before our time was through.”
“And yet… would it… have been different between us?”
Miriam fiddled with her mask and whispered, “Oh, Alan, who can say? We can’t change the past.”
Miriam reached her gloved hand across the table to grasp Alan’s hand, “Thank you, Lazarus.”
“But, what about the future? What happens now, Mary?” Alan’s eyes was hopeful.
(Sorry, buddy, it’s not happening…)
Looking down, Miriam pulled her hand away, “Alan, right now we have a mission to complete.”
And after a pause, she whispered, “I’m sorry, but there is no time for a love that might have been.”
(Ouch!)
I watched as Alan did his best to swallow a (re)broken heart. In a stony voice he replied, “Alas, Miriam. You speak the truth. Even Solomon echoed your words, ‘No man can control the evil times that fall unexpectedly upon him.’ Such is the case with us too, neh?” And rising from the cafe table, “Well, we best be moving forward again. Ready?”
“Ready.” Miriam nodded, keeping her head down as she arose so that Alan would not see her tears.
There was a brief haziness to my Sight, but soon enough it returned.
Apparently some time had passed, because when I saw Alan and Miriam again they were disguised as tourists – complete with obtrusive cameras, dollar-store sunglasses, and an armful of sightseeing brochures. Naturally they also had on their Covid QR Cards hanging around their necks so that the omnipresent patrols could scan them to verify their Vax Status. And of course they were masked and gloved like all the other visitors to The Vatican.
My friends looked to be part of socially distant tourist group on a tour of Saint Peter’s Basilica. It was amusing to see them pretending to listen to the masked clergyman giving the tour as he told all about the history of the grand structure – pointing out the architectural contributions of grand masters like Bramante, Michelangelo, and Bernini; explaining how the church could seat upwards of 60,000 people for a mass; and even giving interesting tidbits of knowledge about some of the unique furnishings inside the cathedral.
I could tell that Alan was rather enjoying the tour. Oh, probably not because the information provided was new to him – for in truth, Alan knew far more about this place than the young priest who was their guide – but instead because the subject of Religious Antiquities was his passion. I’m sure that such a discussion allowed his mind to escape some of the recent pains that had been reopened regarding Miriam.
Unable to resist, Alan ventured a question – modifying his voice in a Hungarian accent, “My friend, I noticed that you didn’t mention the old church of Santo Stefano degli Ungheresi?”
Miriam’s looked in surprise at Alan’s unexpected query, yet her Nano Mask effectively hid her facial expression from others.
Meanwhile, the tour guide hesitated only a moment before advising, “Oh, scusi me please, I didn’t realize you were Hungarian. How could I forget to mention your country’s national church? Certainly, my friend, Santo Stefano once stood over here.” And he led the group to a different area of Saint Peter’s. “In 1776, Santo Stefano was torn down in order to make this section of the Grand Basilica. My apologies, friend, but surely you’ll agree the space was put to good use, eh?”
“Of course. Grazie.” Alan replied.
“Shall we move outside to the Piazza?” The guide asked the group.
As it turned out, Alan and Miriam never did go outside with the rest of the tour; instead they loitered inside Saint Peter’s, using the mandated social distancing requirements to get lost in the shuffle and eventually making their way into a cordoned off section known as the Chapel of the Choir.
Once inside, Miriam shuffled Alan into one of three wooden stalls.
“We can’t hide here,” Alan protested as he removed his mask to get some fresh air. “Surely the guards will check these stalls before closing.”
Miriam kept her mask on, but pulled a hidden lever under a section of molding that opened a secret inner chamber and then proceeded to pull her startled friend into it.
(Oh, you didn’t know about that hide-away? No matter. But surely you DO realize that The Vatican is filled with hidden labyrinths, right? Why there are probably more secret meeting places there than anywhere else in the world).
Ensconced in their hiding place, Alan and Miriam were able to remain on site long after the church closed. Although my Sight thankfully did not force me to endure the monotony of waiting in real-time, I was amused to catch one tidbit of their conversation – Alan coaxing Miriam to tell him the history of this secret chamber, clearly unable to believe that there was yet another piece of religious history that he was not aware of.
(It wasn’t the last time he was due to get such a surprise).
My vision about Lazarus’ Resurrection Day faded to black, yet my Sight continued.
Once more I found myself looking at the present day — my friends were apparently still on their flight to Rome and Miriam’s head continued to rest upon Alan’s shoulder.
But just as quickly, I remembered something else – an inkling of a memory of Alan’s that I got just before The Negrido ended back in my workshop a few days ago.
At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but now I realized that it was important — for, as the quirkiness of life sometimes churns out, I realized that the piece of Alan’s memory that came back to me concerned that same fateful day which I had just re-lived!
I wasn’t really honest with her that day.
That’s what Alan’s mind kept screaming during The Negrido over and over.
(OK, it’s time you understand something – even I knew that Alan, nee Lazarus, had been harboring a secret from Miriam, nee Mary of Magdala, for a long time, and while it might have been truthful for Alan to tell Mary that he had heard Jesus’ calling to him, asking him to come back and help her in a mission to save the world, when you discover the whole truth, I think you’re going to agree that Alan was a bit deceptive in the description of the afterlife that he related to her).
Peace? Love? Fulfillment? Alan’s mind had chided himself during my ritual. Ha! More like Uncertainty, Regret, and Longing. I made Miriam believe I was in Heaven, when in reality I was only in Purgatory!
But that’s not all Alan’s mind revealed. I remember him also harboring this secret…
Had I told her that Jesus offered me the opportunity to escape the sorrow of Purgatory simply by agreeing to come back and aid her, how noble would that make me look? Certainly it wouldn’t prove how much I loved her!
Do YOU see the problem here?
Alan didn’t believe the truth was dynamic enough to attract Mary and so he embellished it to make his sacrifice appear more noble – apparently because he knew he was competing against Jesus himself for Mary’s heart.
Yet, if I’ve told Alan once, I’ve told him a thousand times – chivalry doesn’t pay.
Unfortunately the fool would never listen to me. He always wanted to be the Shining Knight who came to save the day – too bad for him, he never played that role very well.
I then remember Alan’s thoughts turning blacker – even as my Negrido reached its climax.
Where has all my chivalry gotten me? Alan lamented, his soul refusing to respond to my alchemy. Miriam still doesn’t love me. She’s still saving herself for The Teacher. How can she do it? What kind of a life is that? Oh, why didn’t I just tell Mary the truth? I thought when Jesus called me from the grave I would have it all – an escape from Purgatory, a chance to be with the woman I love, a glorious place in history after fulfilling His mission, and upon death – an immediate entrance into Heaven!”
And still Alan’s mind kept on, Instead nothing has gone as expected – we failed in our mission, and more importantly to me, I never did get my time with Mary! For twenty centuries I did my best to win her heart, but to no avail. What more could a man do to prove his love? Alas, she never wanted me.
I also recalled that, as The Negrido wore on, Alan started sinking into a dangerous state of self-loathing — fighting against me pulling him back to life.
But that was a battle I refused to let him win – for that would have meant he found a way to die without me!
In desperation I forced him to drink a poison potion — essentially what you might call a happy pill. I know it sounds crazy, but hey, an alchemy master like myself has a lot of tricks up his sleeve.
(What’s that – why don’t I take my own medicine and just be happy? Enough questions!)
NO, these are the thoughts of a madman! Alan’s mind had told himself during my ritual – after the effects of my special potion began. I am Lazarus. Jesus of Nazareth was my friend, my teacher, my Lord. I DO BELIEVE!
And that was the very moment that I successfully pulled Alan out of his stupor — when I knew The Negrido had been a success!
(Naturally I didn’t tell Miriam all of this. Hey, let her wonder a bit, right?).
All this I now remembered as I look at Alan and Miriam on that plane to Rome. (And by the way, all this movement with the Sight and my memories was making me pretty dizzy – just in case you’re wondering!)
At first glance, both of my friends appeared relaxed.
But of a sudden, Alan’s eyes opened wide in revelation, “My God, She knows!”
Miriam stirred but didn’t wake up.
Softly Alan continued to himself, “She knows my secret. She didn’t need her mental powers to guess it. Jesus must have told her way back when. She knows the truth — and she has always known!”
My forced revelation about Alan and Miriam continued.
I had to wade through the grueling experience of watching all the passengers and crew complete their numerous Covid health safety checks – with the process delayed because of an unchipped family requiring additional on-the-spot testing before they were allowed to board – their angry fellow passengers then berating the family for their selfishness in not being chipped. After this the flight attendants did their rounds to ensure everyone was masked and gloved. (It was #PopulationControl at its finest and I know Orwell would have been proud).
When they were finally airborne, I watched Alan lean over to Miriam and say, “Did you bring The Book with you or did you put it in your checked bags?”
“That’s absurd,” Miriam was aghast.” You know I could never check that!”
“May I see it?”
“What, here? Now?”
“Nobody knows what it is. Please. I haven’t viewed it in centuries…”
“But, why do you want to see it? It will only make you sad.”
“Miriam.” Alan gazed into her eyes. “Please.”
Not wanting to hold the eye contract, Miriam reached under the seat in front of her and pulled out a large, leather-bound tome from her carry on. After unlocking it, she hefted it over to Alan. He then flipped to the latter pages of The Book of Life — looking for text.
“So many lives lost.” Miriam whimpered. “I’ll never understand it.“
“Here you go.” Alan slammed the book and shoved it back at her.
“Er. OK?” Miriam gingerly took it back, surprised at how quickly Alan was done with it. Fumbling with the lock, she asked, “Is everything ok?”
“How very sad. Miriam, how do you live daily with this burden?”
Miriam’s tears began to soil her face mask as she replied, “Ours is not to question God’s way. We must continue in faith that all will work out, and that… maybe, there will be a final redemption when even the lost sheep will come back into the fold. At least that is MY hope.”
Alan grasped her gloved hand gently, “An admirable hope indeed.”
Miriam placed her head on Alan’s shoulder, while he continued to hold her hand, and as they sat, both of them remembered the past…
(How do I know their thoughts? Keep reading and see for yourself).
My vision shifted with theirs, I guess, because after a hazy shading, I found myself looking upon a scene I hadn’t recalled in many years…
There we were, a group of disciples and hangers-on, following Jesus of Nazareth as he led us back to Bethany – just outside of Jerusalem. We were on the way to visit with the family of our friend Lazarus. There was much confusion among the disciples about the purpose of this trip — some among the group tried to keep Jesus from going back there because our last visit to The Holy City nearly resulted in his death from the Jewish mobs who were incensed about his heretical teachings. Others were under the impression that Jesus was on his way to cure Lazarus of a mysterious illness which his sisters had urgently come to tell us about just two days before.
Yet, only myself, Mary of Magdala, and a few others knew the truth…
Lazarus was already dead.
I watched as our group moved along the road.
Then I caught a close-up glimpse of myself.
(Oh how young and strong I once was! Why can’t I relive those days again? Quickly, I looked away – it was no use living in the past – especially knowing what I know now. Instead I focused my Sight on someone else).
“St John” by Pieter Paul Reubens, c 1611
Eventually my sight fixed itself upon Mary and Jesus. They were walking together a bit separated from the others.
“But, I don’t understand, Lord.” Mary questioned Jesus. “If your friend Lazarus is already dead, why are we going back?”
“Dear one, why do you not listen to me?” Jesus replied.
“What am I missing?”
“Lazarus IS dead. But, for your sake, he will not stay that way.”
“MY sake? What do I have to do with anything concerning your friend Lazarus?”
“Lazarus is a friend to both of us and he loves you, Mary.”
“Lord!” Miriam blushed. “You know my heart beats only for you.”
“What you want cannot be.” Jesus said gently. “Each of us has a different path to walk. You and Lazarus will journey together; while I have another road. But fear not. I will always be with you.”
(Hogwash! I’ve heard that same line countless times – it ain’t true).
Clearly frustrated that the man she loved was trying to pass her off onto someone else, Mary abruptly stormed off to the back of the group to be alone – surely wondering if her destiny was still to follow Jesus or if instead she was being led down a road to nowhere.
I didn’t have time to ponder about this further because, for me, Time began to flash by…
When I got my bearings again I realized a day or more must have passed, for we were all at a party – celebrating Lazarus’ Resurrection!
(Despite my current beef with Jesus, I couldn’t help remembering the profound amazement we all experienced back when we witnessed Jesus raise Lazarus from the dead – do you have any idea what it’s like to see a man come out of the grave? Truly Jesus was a miracle worker!)
The celebration was chaotic to say the least, but I happened to catch a glimpse of Mary sitting alone in a quiet grove. Lazarus walked over to her. Not knowing what to say, Mary stuttered, “How… er, how do you feel?”
“Better… now.” Lazarus smiled calmly.
“I’m glad.” She replied automatically. “Jesus is amazing, huh?”
“He is. And so are you, Mary.”
(Can you be any more obvious, Laz?)
“Oh, looks like I need some more wine.” Mary squirmed. “Would you excuse me?”
But Lazarus grasped her hand, “Mary, I let you get away from me once before. I can’t let that happen again. I love you. Stay with me.”
“Lazarus, please! This is not the time or the place.”
“Mary, don’t you realize I was a dead man less than a day ago?”
“That’s not a very comforting thought to a girl.”
“I was experiencing the afterlife!” Lazarus related, his eyes peering inwards. “Peace. Love. Fulfillment.”
“I don’t understand, why did you come back?”
Lazarus looked intently at her. “I came back for YOU, Mary.”
“But why? Er, I know, I know, you love me.” She hissed the words under her breath. “But, it doesn’t make sense! If you were already experiencing the afterlife, surely the thought of ME could not compare?”
“I heard his voice — The Teacher. Jesus said I needed to come back to… to… help you.”
“What are you trying to tell me? That Jesus is playing matchmaker and he brought you back from the dead to save me from being an old maid?”
(Ooh, this is not going to go over well!).
Mary was fuming, “Why the nerve of th—“
But Lazarus touched her hand gently, “It’s not like that, Mary.”
“Then what is it like?”
“I DO love you.” Lazarus said, as a touch of sadness entered his words, “However, I know how you feel about The Teacher. And about me.”
“Well, Lazarus, I… we… you and I, well, we hardly know each other.”
“Be that as it may. If nothing else, I came back to help you… with your mission.”
“What are you talking about?”
Now it was Lazarus’ turn to be confused. “Wait, are you telling me that The Teacher hasn’t discussed your mission with you?”
“Does he want me to lead a new group of disciples?” Mary suddenly perked up.
Seeing that she really had no idea what he was talking about, Lazarus advised, “Perhaps this conversation was not the best idea. I’m sorry, I thought Jesus had already discussed all this with you.” And he got up to leave.
Now it was Mary’s turn to pull him back down, “Just a moment. You can’t walk away now; explain yourself!”
Unable to resist the woman he loved, Lazarus answered, “Mary, you are going to save the world! And I am going to help you!”
The good news is that my friends finally went away.
The bad news it that I did not get to work in peace as I’d hoped because the very next day I had another vision forced upon me – ironically it was about Alan and Miriam (gee whiz, how do I get rid of these guys?)
“Why did we bother to come through JFK?” Miriam complained, fiddling with her face mask.
“Hopefully the delay won’t be much longer.” Alan soothed, he too donning a face mask as per the requirements for air travel that had been mandated since back in 2020. “Meanwhile, let’s take this time to plan our next moves.”
Despite the delay in the plane’s arrival, my friends had been able to book the flight quickly because their Freedom Passes and social credits were still flagged as Platinum status – this was based on the fact that both of them had received every round of their semi-annual Covid top-off vaccines since 2021, had no record of any crimes, had no record of social media hate speech, were both on record as bleeding heart liberals, had taken all their White Privilege re-education programs, and had never missed a daily virus test on their phone (that last was a tally I’d ‘corrected’ during their visit to me in order to account for the time they missed while Miriam was rescuing Alan – it was a task I happily undertook because it fit with my plans to get rid of them!)
“Oh, Alan, always the analytical mind.” Miriam replied. But then, as if realizing her possible faux pas, she added, “Er. I didn’t mean that in a mental telepathy sort of way.” And seeing her friend’s face redden around his mask, she stammered, “Alan, please know that I did NOT go through your private thoughts. I never have in the past and I never plan to. You mus–”
(Don’t believe her, Alan).
“Hush. I trust you, Miriam. But let’s just make a pact so we can save ourselves further embarrassment – no more telepathy, mental probes, or other mental tricks.”
(Amen to that!)
Miriam nodded, “If I have anything to say, I’ll say it out loud.”
“Amen!”
(Copy cat).
“Alan,” Miriam’s grew thoughtful. “How long has it been since we’ve last talked? I mean really talked.”
(Oh no, when a woman says she wants to talk that’s never good).
Alan thought for a moment, “The last time we were together — before you rescued me from Ma’bus — was in 1945 – April 30th to be exact.”
“The day Hitler shot himself – alas another Antichrist theory which didn’t pan out.”
“And yet, I wonder…” Alan mused. ”Unlike most, we saw Hitler’s remains – at least what his people claimed was his remains – which, as you’ll recall we had certain unanswered questions about at the time. Nevertheless, even though we determined that Hitler was not in fact our Antichrist before he died, we still worked hard to drive him out of his mind in order to rid of the world of his evil.”
“I’d say so.” Miriam interjected. “After all, even though the world never knew, it was you, John, and myself who succeeded in pushing Der Fuhrer down the suicide path.”
(I realize this probably all news to you, but actually it’s quite true).
“Ah, but don’t forget — Hitler shot himself two days before we thought he would.”
“So?”
“Let’s not forget – none of us actually saw him take the shot. And while we did see his charred corpse, I told you back then I wasn’t comfortable with they way everything played out.”
“But nothing more happened. We all agreed the Hitler File was closed.”
(Actually I agreed with Alan at the time — I wasn’t 100% sure Hitler was really dead, but I didn’t feel like fighting Miriam, so I didn’t say anything).
“What if we were wrong?” Alan mused.
“What do you mean?”
“What if Hitler never did kill himself?” Alan whispered. Then leaning in closer he said even softer, “Miriam, is it possible Hitler actually stayed alive and has now re-emerged as… Dr. Ma’bus?!?”
The color drained from Miriam’s face, yet before she could respond, Alan pressed ahead, “Let me take it a step further. Miriam, in the course of the last few decades, I have been postulating a new theory — in the past, whenever we’ve been presented with a potential Antichrist emerging, how did we evaluate that candidate to determine if they were truly The Beast?”
“I’m not sure I understand — why are we talking about men whom History has proven NOT to be antichrists?”
“Has it? Think about the men we were once CONVINCED were The Beast: Nero, Attila, Arnulf, Weishaupt, and Hitler. I want you to—“
“Actually, I left him out on purpose. There is no question that we were wrong about him and luckily John caught our error in time.”
(Well, at least someone gives me some credit around here. Thank you, Alan).
“Agreed.” Miriam consented as much, but her face told a different story regarding her true feelings Martin Luther. However rather than argue the point, she encouraged Alan to continue, “OK, so what?”
“Miriam, what if ALL of them really were The Beast?”
“How could that be? They all died – and stopped causing problems.”
“And yet, in every case there is a nuance that left me unsure. Consider Nero’s death – a supposed suicide in which he drove a dagger into his own throat – albeit with the aid of his personal secretary Epaphroditus. And yet Epaphroditus then conveniently disappeared from history?”
“Even still, Nero’s death seemed pretty convincing.”
“Death of Nero” by V. S. Smirnov
“Was it? Or did Nero switch with his aide and disappear himself?”
“But, why? For what purpose?”
(Duh? Miriam, are you so obtuse?)
“Let’s table that and examine the other candidates. Next there was Attila — his demise is still controversial: was it internal bleeding caused by years of heavy drinking or did he die at the hands of his wife Gudrun?”
“What does it matter? Either way, he DID die.” Miriam rebutted. ”And did you forget that Attila was buried in a triple coffin made of gold, inside of silver, inside of iron – all to keep him locked inside?”
“And supposedly his army then diverted a section of the river Tisza over his grave site – yet all those men were later killed by Attila’s son Ellac in order to keep the exact location of the grave site a secret.”
(Hmm. I’m starting to see where Alan’s heading. What about YOU?)
“Attention passengers of Lufthansa Flight 1501 to Rome,” came a voice over the Terminal speakers, “Please proceed to Gate A31…”
“Hey, they changed our gate!” Miriam arose and began to hastily gather her belongings. “That’s at the other end of the terminal!”
“Moving on,” Alan trotted after Miriam, continuing his discourse between breaths as they waded through the crowd. “Arnulf’s death – still a mystery. Same goes for Weishaupt. And we already discussed Hitler.”
“Ugh, Alan, just spit it out — what are you trying to say?”
As they stepped onto moving walkway, Alan whispered urgently into her ear. “Just this, Miriam — what if all of those evil men really were the SAME man? What if we did correctly identify the Beast each time, but due to our actions or just some unexpected turns of History, Satan chose to delay his rise?”
Miriam suddenly stopped in her tracks – causing a backlog on the tight walkway behind Alan.
“Sorry, friends,” Alan turned to apologize to the many passengers behind him who were now complaining at the stoppage, before quickly urging Miriam ahead towards the end of the moving walkway.
Once they got off, Miriam pulled Alan aside, “My God, Alan, what if the spirit of Satan’s son possessed the bodies of those men and merely used each as a vessel?”
(ARG! Do you see what she’s doing? As always, Miriam can’t accept someone else’s idea, so she has to change it to make it hers. Just like a woman – never satisfied until they have their own way!)
“Hmmm… that I can’t answer,” Alan replied, “But one thing is sure. Lucifer is a master manipulator – for something as important as the rise to power of his son — and his own subsequent release from the prison of Hell — surely, if he felt for even a moment that everything wasn’t going exactly as planned, he would pull the plug and start over later, right?”
“Indeed. For Gabriel always said that once The Antichrist attempts The Armageddon Rite, he will have one chance at it – just ONE. That was the agreement Satan worked out with God. Although why The Lord would allow Himself to be bound by such a possib–”
“Attention passengers of Lufthansa Flight 1501 to Rome,” came the airport voice again. “All passengers should be at Gate A31 ready to board.”
“Oh, let’s hurry, Alan. We can talk more on the way to Rome!”
My last jibe did not disappoint – and with both Alan and Miriam wfhite-faced, I went for the kill, “Lighten up, people. I know we can’t switch sides. But if Michael wants to do his thing – fine. And if you two want to stop Bates or Ma’bus or whoever he is – also fine. Just leave me out of it.” Then I clicked on the TV – hoping they would finally get the hint.
Miriam walked over, rudely snatched the remote (yes, the remote that I had just recently learned how to use!), and then turned the TV back off. “Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path, John! You’re not listening.”
“WHAT?” I roared. “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO KNOW?”
“Don’t you see — Michael’s offensive is a SECRET attack! I wrote about this in my letter to La Papessa. In the end, after consulting the scriptures, she marked my letter signum eternus and locked it within the most secret of the Vatican’s vaults – where it been ever since.”
Alan’s eyes narrowed, “My dear Miriam, remember who you’re talking to – you don’t seriously expect me to believe that such a warehouse has remained outside of MY knowledge for lo these many centuries?”
“I’m not sure what to say, Alan, but The Sacra Crypta does indeed exist.”
“Then where is it located?” Alan snapped, clearly embarrassed.
“OK. OK.” I tried to move the story along. “What happened next, Professor?”
“Hmm.” Alan tried to remember. “I moved away from Rome again around 1100, and by then the church fell into some disrepair. In 1776 Pope Pius VI pulled down Santo Stefano and built a new sacristy for St. Peter’s.”
“If you loved it so much, why didn’t you stop this?” I teased.
“John, as you might recall, we three were tied up dealing with Weishaupt at the time. Regardless, Saint Stephen’s church was torn down – so now all that remains are its Roman columns – which I convinced Pius, by letter, to place in the new sacristy of the St. Peter’s.”
“Alan, you’re correct on all of that.” Miriam agreed. “I know how much you loved that chapel. However, you overlooked one thing.”
“Oh, what’s that?” Alan asked, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.
“There was a secret cellar under Santo Stefano.”
“What?!? That’s impossible.” Alan was offended. “Why, I’ve been there a thousand times, how could I never have known about it? There wasn’t any such feature in the original construction.”
“She said it was a secret.” I laughed.
Alan’s look at me was pure ice, yet it was Miriam who spoke again. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. I was sworn to secrecy.”
“Who built this vault? Who kept you from telling us?”
“The answer to that question is one and the same.” Miriam began.
But it was I who filled in the blank, “Don’t tell me — Pope Joan?”
Was Mary Magdalene the Adulteress from The Gospel of John? Many Christians have been brought up believing that famous Adulteress from the Gospel of John was in fact Mary Magdalene and for nearly 1,300 years this is what was formally taught in Catholic doctrine – but is this legend even true?
In this article, we’ll explore the connection between the woman caught in adultery from John’s Gospel and the disciple Mary Magdalene from the Bible.
In order to make the association stick, Pope Gregory also had to connect the dots by proclaiming that Mary Magdalene was in fact also Mary of Bethany – the sister of Martha and Lazarus. This was necessary because Mary of Bethany was the proclaimed to be the woman with the sinful past who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and/or anointed him with the alabaster jar of perfume in various gospels).
Why all the Mary’s?
The reason Mary of Bethany had to be the woman who anointed Jesus in order to trace her back to Mary Magdalene is a bit of a circuitous route. The apparent basis for Pope Gregory’s decision relates to Luke 8:2 where Mary Magdalene is specifically named as having been cured of “7 demons” by Christ. One or more of these ‘demons’ was thought to relate to a sinful ‘sexual’ past and from there it was apparently just a hop, skip, and a jump for Pope Gregory to connect the dots from Mary Magdalene, to Mary of Bethany, to the woman who anointed Jesus, to the Adulteress of John.
Well that makes perfect sense, right? Not!
Is there ANY Evidence that Supports Mary Magdalene is the Adulteress?
To wit: Mary Magdalene also means Mary of Magdala. This is important because Magdala, located along the Sea of Galilee near Tiberias, was a prosperous port city during the time of Christ. And what do we know about nearly all ‘port cities’ the world over? They are a haven for prostitutes.
It’s reported that Rome eventually destroyed Magdala “because of its moral depravity and its participation in the Jewish revolt.”
Additionally, the Jewish Talmud word Magdalene may be translated to “curling women’s hair,” which apparently is code word for “adulteress.”
Thus more ammunition to support Pope Gregory’s claims that Mary Magdalene was a woman of ill-repute and that she was committed to Christ for saving her from her unsavory past.
So Was Mary Magdalene the Adulteress?
Honestly we may never really know, however it’s worth digging a bit deeper into Pope Gregory’s decision.
Clearly we can conclude that Mary Magdalene was definitively the “Mary” of Luke 8 – after all she was specifically named by her full name in this verse. However one is left to wonder why the mention of her past demons and her place of birth must also necessarily mean that she was the adulteress, or Mary the sister of Martha, or the penitent woman with the perfume.
Consider the following…
Mary was one of the most common names among the people of this time in Israel (even Jesus’ mother was named Mary), so just because a “Mary” is mentioned in the Bible that doesn’t mean it must be Mary Magdalene, right?
In every other Biblical story that references Mary Magdalene, she is called by her full name at some point in the story. Why would she not be identified by name in the story about the adulteress or if Mary Magdalene was also Mary of Bethany?
We may never know why Pope Gregory made this decision (although our discussion of Conspiracy Theories about Mary Magdalene is of interest here), however it should be noted that while the Catholic Church held this view from the 6th century onward, it was officially reversed in 1969 by Pope Paul VI (although without much fanfare). As it stands now, the Church no longer associates Mary Magdalene with Mary of Bethany or the Adulteress. And as an interesting side note, the Eastern Orthodox Church apparently never did.
What’s the Truth about Mary Magdalene in the Bible?
In spite of her past demons and her place of birth the fact is that there is no concrete evidence that Mary Magdalene is the famous adulteress from the Gospel of John 8:3-11.
The name of the adulteress in these verses is actually not given so we have no way of knowing who the woman was.
The Adulteress could have been Mary Magdalene…or pretty much any other woman alive at the time who lived there.
This is a comprehensive guide about Mary Magdalene that attempts to tackle the many issues associated with life and legacy of this importance figure in the Christian Faith. Beyond just the typical biography of Mary, we’ll attempt to separate which “Mary” she was/was from a Biblical perspective, talk about the apocrypha literature that features her (for example The Gospel of Mary and other early Christian texts), search for Mary’s tomb and relics, and delve into some of the conspiracies that involve her (did she journey to France, is she the Holy Grail, is she immortal, etc). It promises to be a wild ride so let’s get started!
1. Mary Magdalene – Biography
To say that Mary Magdalene’s name is controversial is an understatement – there is perhaps no more controversial figure in all of The Bible. For most of history (both during the time she was living and for centuries afterward) Mary Magdalene was at the center of numerous conspiracy theories surrounding her relationship with Jesus:
Was Mary simply one of many disciples of Jesus?
Was she a de facto apostle with her own ideas about how to spread Christ’s message and thus a threat to the more well-known apostle’s power?
Was Mary a financial backer of Jesus?
Was Mary Magdalen Jesus’ lover or possibly even the mother of Jesus’ child?
These questions and more cloud Mary Magdalene’s name and perhaps have made it impossible to know who she really was (after all, we must remember that the ‘history’ of Mary Magdalene as we know it over 2,000 years later is only what we are able to read by those who wrote that story – and as we well know by living in the age of Fake News or remembering Orwell’s epic 1984, just because something is written or said, does not make it true).
Sadly we may never know the real story of exactly who Mary Magdalene was, but we can perhaps piece together a few of the “likely-to-be-true” tidbits about her life.
It would appear fairly safe to conclude that Mary Magdalane was indeed…
From the village of Magdala (a fishing village on the Sea of Galilee).
Jewish – although we don’t know this for certain.
Was also called simply “Magdalene.”
Was a follower of Jesus who traveled around with his disciples.
Had a close relationship with Jesus since she was present at Jesus’ crucifixion and at Jesus’ resurrection – even when most of Jesus’ other disciples had deserted him.
Was an important figure among Jesus’ disciples because she is mentioned no less than 12 times in The Bible (more than most of the 12 apostles).
These statements about Mary seem relatively safe to rely on, HOWEVER as to the beliefs that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, the famous adulteress of John’s Gospel, Jesus’ lover or even the mother of his child, we’ll likely never know – although we’ll explore all of these controversies and more in the rest of this article.
For additional biographies of Mary Magdalene see also:
A. Where is Mary Magdalene mentioned in The Bible?
Mary Magdalene is specifically mentioned by name 12 times in the Bible in the following verses…
Matthew 27:55-56: Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.
Matthew 27:59-61: Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were sitting there opposite the tomb.
Matthew 28:1: After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
Mark 15:39-41: And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!” Some women were watching from a distance. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joseph, and Salome. In Galilee these women had followed him and cared for his needs. Many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem were also there.
Mark 15: 46-47: So Joseph bought some linen cloth, took down the body, wrapped it in the linen, and placed it in a tomb cut out of rock. Then he rolled a stone against the entrance of the tomb. Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joseph saw where he was laid.
Mark 16: 1-8: When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?” But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’ ” Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid. (Interesting tidbit: it should be noted that the earliest versions of Mark’s Gospel ended at this verse).
Mark 16: 9-11: When Jesus rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. She went and told those who had been with him and who were mourning and weeping. When they heard that Jesus was alive and that she had seen him, they did not believe it.
Luke 8:1-3: Soon afterward he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. And the twelve were with him, and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod’s household manager, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their means.
Luke 24: 9-11: When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others. It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles. But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense.
John 19:25: Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.
John 20:1-2: Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
John 20: 11-18: Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?” “They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”). Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’ ” Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.
B. Was Mary Magdalene the Adulteress from John’s Gospel?
There is no concrete evidence that Mary Magdalene is the famous adulteress from the Gospel of John 8:3-11. The name of the adulteress in these verses is actually not given so we have no way of knowing who the woman was. It could have been Mary Magdalene…or pretty much any other woman alive at the time who lived there.
The notion that the adulteress was Mary Magdalene traces back to (at least) the early 6th century when Pope Gregory I officially proclaimed her to be the adulteress from John 8 (as well as Mary the sister of Martha and Lazarus AND the woman with the sinful past who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and/or the alabaster jar of perfume in various gospels). The apparent basis for Pope Gregory’s decision relates to Luke 8:2 where Mary Magdalene is specifically named as having been cured of “7 demons” by Christ – and yet although Mary Magdalene is clearly the “Mary” of Luke 8, one is left to wonder why this makes her the adulteress, or Mary the sister of Martha, or the penitent woman with the perfume?
Mary was one of the most common names among the people of this time in Israel (even Jesus’ mother was named Mary), so just because a “Mary” is mentioned in the Bible that doesn’t mean it must be Mary Magdalene, right?
In every other Biblical story that references Mary Magdalene, she is called by her full name at some point in the story so why would have be different in these stories? If any of these other women were in fact Mary Magdalene, why didn’t the gospel writer give her full name as was the case elsewhere?
We may never know why Pope Gregory made this decision (although see Section 6 – Conspiracy Theories for more), but it should be noted that while the Catholic Church held this view from the 6th century onward, it was officially reversed in 1969 by Pope Paul VI (although without much fanfare).
C. Was Mary Magdalene a prostitute?
There is no concrete evidence to suggest that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. As with the discussion about her being the adulteress from John 8, the case for Mary being a prostitute is thin here too. When she is mentioned by name in the Bible the only ‘disparaging’ remark ever noted concerning Mary Magdalene is that she was ‘cured of seven demons’ but we never learn exactly what those demons were. In the time period she lived (2,000 years ago), people in the Middle East allegedly attributed numerous physical, mental, and emotional ailments to ‘demons’ so it’s possible Mary’s demons were from some or all of these categories – Christ may have cured her of various physical sicknesses or perhaps he saved her from life as a wayward woman – we just don’t know. As with John’s adulteress, we have Pope Gregory I to thank for suggesting that Mary Magdalene was a woman of ill repute who repented at Jesus’ feet, but in fact the Bible never specifically says this about her and again the Catholic Church officially reversed this view of her in 1969.
This answer is a bit more of a slippery slope. The evidence to support Mary Magdalen being possessed is Luke 8:2 which reads “…some women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out…” If we take this at face value, then we could conclude that Mary Magdalene was at one time possessed by demons and that Christ cured her of these evil spirits. But again, it’s also possible that either the translation itself isn’t quite accurate or more likely that the ‘demons’ were in fact simply various physical, mental, or emotional ailments whose symptoms were attributed to demonic beings as was often the case during this time period. Whatever the case may be, of all the negative connotation questions in this section (B-F), this one has the highest likelihood of being true based on the evidence available.
E. Was Mary Magdalene the woman named “Mary of Bethany” who was the sister of Martha and Lazarus?
While this is all well and fine, there is little evidence to suggest that Mary of Bethany is Mary of Magdala (AKA Mary Magdalene). As already discussed, it was Pope Gregory I (AKA Gregory the Great) who officially connected these two Mary’s – however the Catholic Church reversed this decision in 1969 and it should be noted that the Eastern Orthodox Churches never connected the two.
F. Did Mary Magdalene wash Jesus’s feet with her hair?
This is another question that refers to the Bible verses from Matthew 26: 6-13, Mark 14: 3-9, and Luke 7: 36-50 that relate to the story about the penitent woman who anoints Jesus with perfume and/or washes his feet with her fair. We already know this woman was Mary of Bethany because the event is also described in John 12: 1-11 in which Mary of Bethany is named. Since we also know there is little evidence to suggest that Mary of Bethany is Mary of Magdala we can realistically conclude that Mary Magdalene is not the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her hair… at lest in these specific Bible references.
Then again, we don’t know what Mary Magdalene and Jesus’ full relationship was so it’s possible she may have washed his feet with her hair in a non-recorded event.
G. Where did Mary Magdalene go after the events of the Gospels?
There is no definitive answer to this question. One of the more popular legends is that, while Peter and Paul ended up in Rome, Mary Magdalene took her mission to France. We’ll delve more into this legend in the “Conspiracies” section below.
3. What is the Gospel of Mary Magdalene?
The Gospel of Mary is a powerful and controversial document. It is not part of a standard canon Bible translation and is instead classified as an apocryphal text. It is however a clear work of Gnostic literature and what remains of the text can be found in the Gnostic Bible – an excellent resource for ‘lost’ Bible codices.
What is the Gospel of Mary about?
As a work of the Gnostic genre, the Gospel of Mary presents a far different picture of Jesus’s mission – wherein he “teaches that the inner self is composed of soul, spirit/mind, and a third mind that is between the two which sees the vision.” More importantly as scholar Karen King noted “The Gospel of Mary presents a radical interpretation of Jesus’ teachings as a path to inner spiritual knowledge and rejects Jesus’ suffering and death as the path to eternal life.”
In addition to Christ, well-known apostles are present (namely Peter, Andrews, and Levi AKA Mathew), but the star of the show is “Mary” – a woman who takes center stage: sharing private wisdom that Jesus told her about and even engaging in a power struggle with Peter and his brother for control of the disciples.
This is an ancient text was lost to history for many centuries. In 1896 it was discovered as part of a collection of apocryphal books identified as Papyrus Berolinensis 8502 (also known as the Akhmim Codex) – a group of 5th century texts written on papyrus that also contain the Apocryphon of John, the Sophia of Jesus Christ, and a summary of the Act of Peter. While the 5th century texts were a significant find, scholars suggest that the Gospel of Mary was originally written in Greek in the 2nd Century, and some trace its lineage back to the time of Christ.
Which “Mary” was the Gospel of Mary about?
It should be noted that correct name of this text is actually The Gospel of Mary, that not all scholars agree that the Mary of this gospel is Mary Magdalene (some suggest it is Jesus’ mother Mary), and that Mary Magdalene is not specifically named in any of the surviving portions of this text. HOWEVER, because of the connections between stories in the Gospel of Mary and other ancient texts either written or discovered at the same time, many have concluded that this gospel tells the tale of Mary Magdalene. The evidence is as follows:
Mary Magdalene was identified as a prominent follower of Jesus in the official Bible – written about no less than 12 times in the various canonical gospels, she was present as Christ’s crucifixion, and she was the first person (not just first woman but first person) to see Jesus after his resurrection – clearly she was an important member of Christ’s clan.
Mary Magdalene was the star of other early Christian apocryphal literature which presented her as a leading figure among the disciples.
Specific ‘scenes’ which occur in the Gospel of Mary also occur in the Gospel of Thomas, Pistus Sophia, and the Gospel of Philip – and in the other text the Mary in question is specifically named as Mary Magdalene.
How can I buy a copy of The Gospel of Mary?
4. Is Mary Magdalene a Catholic Saint?
Mary Magdalene IS held to be a ‘saint’ by the Catholic Church – although we don’t know exactly who canonized her (whether it was a Pope or a local bishop) because the only (public) Vatican records about Mary Magdalene’s sainthood list the date of her canonization as ‘pre-congregration’ – a catch-all term used when a person was sainted “prior to the institution of the modern investigations performed by the Congregation for the Causes of Saints” which didn’t formally begin recognizing saints until 1508.
When is the Feast Day of Mary Magdalene?
July 22 is the official day of Mary Magdalene’s Feast Day.
She is also celebrated on March 1 in Switzerland and on Mary 19 among the Eastern Orthodox Church (certain relics of Mary Magdalene are stored in Constantinople).
BONUS: Churches dedicated to Mary Magdalene
Did you know there are no less than 60 churches dedicated to Mary Magdalene? They span the globe from Europe to the Middle East to North America and even the Philippines. In the United Kingdom alone there are 37 churches devoted to her! (9 are in London).
Here are some of the most famous churches dedicated to Mary Magdalene:
The Church of Mary Magdalene is a Russian Orthodox church located on the Mount of Olives, near the Garden of Gethsemane in East Jerusalem, Israel.
The Sainte-Madeleine Church is a Catholic church in Strasbourg, France.
La Madeleine is a Roman Catholic church in Paris, France.
Jerusalem
Strasbourg
Paris
5. Paintings that feature Mary Magdalene
It would take a massive tome to showcase all of the artwork that features Mary Magdalene (which again is a testament to how important her figure was throughout the history of Christianity). Here are a few of my favorites.
St Mary Magdalene by Piero della Francesco
The Penitent Magdalene by Bartolome Murillo
Christ Mourned by the 3 Maries by Carracci
Pisa Crucifixion by Massaccio
Noli Me Tangere by Correggio
Noli Me Tangere by Giotto
Noli Me Tangere, Fra Angelico
The Morning after the Resurrection by Edward Burne-Jones
The Risen Christ Appearing to Mary Magdalene by Rembrandt
Magdalene in Cave by Pompeo Batoni
Repentant Magdalene by Gerard Seghers
Magdalene with the Smoking Flame by Georges de la Tour
6. When did Mary Magdalene Die?
We have no clear answer to exactly when Mary Magdalene may have died (or if she ever did?!?) but there are numerous theories.
The three most popular are that…
a. Mary accompanied St John the Evangelist to Ephesus (Turkey) to help spread Christ’s message and that she ultimately died there.
b. Another theory says that she escaped persecution in the Holy Land and fled with a group of refugees to France and then lived as a hermit in a cave in the French mountains for another 30 years before her death.
c. Mary Magdalene never died because Christ made her an immortal (like Lazarus) and she and other immortals are carrying on a secret mission to this very day.
We’ll explore all of these in the Conspiracies sections below.
Where is Mary Magdalene’s Tomb?
Since we don’t exactly know WHEN Mary Magdalene died, we also don’t know WHERE she died either – was it in Turkey, France, or anywhere at all. Various locations claim to have relics of Mary Magdalene, let’s see where they are…
A. Did the apostles of Jesus and/or The Catholic Church intentionally disparage Mary Magdalene’s reputation because they feared she would become too powerful?
Before you dismiss this remark as unlikely, you may want to think about it with an open mind.
Remember what we think we know about Mary Magdalene with relative certainty…
Mary Magdalene a close relationship with Jesus since she was present at Jesus’ crucifixion and at Jesus’ resurrection – even when most of Jesus’ other disciples had deserted him.
Mary Magdalene was an important figure among Jesus’ disciples as evidenced by the fact that she is mentioned no less than 12 times in The Bible (more than most of the 12 apostles).
These ‘facts’ are attested to by the canonical Gospels – the texts attributed to the founding fathers of the Christian Faith: Apostle Matthew, Apostle Peter (via Mark), Evangelist Paul (via Luke), and Apostle John. That they wrote about Mary Magdalene so much and described her close/constant relationship with Jesus is a testament to Mary’s significance among the group – this, in spite of the fact that she was a woman living in a man’s world in the Jewish society of that time period.
And yet, one has to wonder – why did Mary disappear from The Bible after Jesus’ death? Did she merely fade out of society or was she intentionally phased out of power?
On the one hand, there is a theory that Mary Magdalene fled persecution in Palestine following Christ’s death and left the area (possibly to France as noted below). If this is true, then the question is who was accosting her?
Was it Jewish authorities trying to root out the troublesome Christian factions infiltrating their synagogues? It’s possible this could be true — since we know the early church leaders were under duress (as evidenced by Apostle James allegedly martyred by the Jewish King Herod, St Stephen being martyred by Saul and the Pharisees, etc). If Mary was escaping a similar fate she may have taken herself out of the picture.
On the other hand, numerous scholars suggest that Mary had her own ideas on how to carry on Christ’s mission after his death and that she repeatedly clashed with Peter and the early church leaders on this topic. It’s possible that Peter and his colleagues tried to decrease Mary’s power by tarnishing her reputation among early Christian followers – particularly as the faith spread and early followers only had word-of-mouth and written texts to go by as they learned the faith.
Again, we are fairly certain that Mary Magdalene was prominent in Christ’s mission – she supported him financially, she was ever-present with him, The Gospels talk about her often and she is mentioned in all four Gospels, and she is a prominent figure in other non-canonical early Christian writings. This last point is worth exploring further and for more I’d encourage you to read any of the following texts where you’ll see Mary Magdalene in a new light:
All of these texts were popular among early Christian societies in the days before there was a formal Bible. More importantly, in these documents we’re presented with a Mary Magdalene who speaks with authority and often details her ideas for what Christ’s message was (which appears to be divergent from typical Christian focus and instead crosses into the Gnostic realm).
If Mary Magdalene attempted to become a leader among early Christians and clashed with Peter and other apostles over the ‘correct’ direction of the faith, then a power struggle would have taken place. If there was such a struggle Peter and Paul clearly won out — since much of the New Testament features Paul’s work and both Peter and Paul became the recognized leaders of early Christianity. Since Peter, Paul, and the early Church Fathers who followed them controlled the messaging, they were the ones who also controlled history as relates to Mary Magdalene. Let’s not forget the rather infamous words of author George Orwell,
If there was indeed a power struggle and if Peter and the early Church Fathers wanted to discredit Mary Magdalene, they had both the means and motive to do it. It’s possible this is why Mary’s reputation was intentionally sullied by naming her as the adulteress in John 8, or saying she was a prostitute, or the woman of ill-repute who washed Jesus’ feet with her hair/perfume. That this campaign was effective is without question – since so many people were brought up believe these unproven claims about Mary…for over 1,000 years! And casting her in this light clearly worked – since Peter, Paul, and their mates gained control of the church and never looked back.
If this topic interests you, Professor Bart Ehrman has written extensively on the subject. Check out these books to learn more.
B. Was Mary Magdalene Jesus’ Lover? Did Mary Magdalene have Jesus’ baby?
This is the famous “Holy Blood, Holy Grail” conspiracy theory has has been around for ages but gained popularity in our times thanks mostly to the work of author Dan Brown and his book The DaVinci Code.
At its most basic level, the legend here is that Jesus and Mary had children and their bloodline has continued through to this day – thus making Mary Magdalene the Holy Grail since her womb has de facto produced ‘everlasting life’ of Jesus’ divine bloodline.
Conspiracy theorists throughout history have taken this legend further by claiming that Mary and/or her children at some point migrated to France where they then married into various noble families and ultimately gained prominence (and power) as the famous Merovingian dynasty But it doesn’t stop there, since another level of this conspiracy is that the Merovingian’s were protected by a secret society called the Priory of Sion — an “esoteric Christian chivalric order, whose members were people of influence in the fields of finance, politics and philosophy, devoted to installing the Grand Monarch on the French Throne (a kind of French Messiah King prophesied by Nostradamus).” When viewed in this light, The Holy Grail is BOTH the womb of Mary Magdalene and the royal bloodline itself.
If these legends interest you, check out the following books and videos:
C. Did Mary Magdalene and Lazarus journey to France?
This conspiracy is potentially part of the Holy Blood, Holy Grail theory, and yet also has multiple standalone legends.
As we saw already, there is a belief that Mary Magdalene and/or her alleged children with Jesus were part of the lineage of the Merovingian kings of France.
Alternatively a not-as-far-fetched story is that Mary Magdalene left Palestine after Jesus’ death and migrated to France where she simply lived out the remainder of her days. One version of this legend states that Mary lived as a hermit for 30+ years in a cave in the vicinity of the Saint Baume mountains.
Another version is that Mary AND Lazarus traveled together by boat and migrated to France to escape the persecution of early Christians by the Jewish Pharisees who were trying to root them out and exterminate them (recall that Saul of Tarsus was one of the rapid persecutors of this era).
Yet another version of the ‘boat’ conspiracy is that Lazarus and Mary Magdalene AND Mary the mother of Jesus AND Martha AND an Egyptian servant named Sarah all traveled by boat to France. Some versions add that the boat had no sails and no oars and that it landed in southern France by the grace of God. Keep in mind that in this legend Mary Magdalene is essentially Mary of Bethany since the latter Mary is the sister of Lazarus and Martha. There is even a special French name for this legend and it’s called “Saintes Maries-de-la-Mer” (AKA “The Holy Marys of the Sea) and there are numerous tours you can take to visit Mary’s stops along the journey.
As to what is fact and what is fiction among this crop of legends who can say? What IS true is that Mary Magdalene is revered throughout France so something must have happened in that country to make her name grow into such prominence there, right?
The possibility that Mary Magdalene at least journeyed to France after Christ’s death is not far fetched at all when we consider:
Jewish authorities in Palestine were violently opposing the spread of Jesus’ message in Israel;
Many of the other apostles spread far and wide after the events of the gospels;
Mary Magdalene appears to have been a woman of some financial means and if so could have paid for such a journey;
Mary may have clashed with Peter and wanted to spread her own version of Jesus’ message in an untapped market.
Whether she made the trip to France with Lazarus and anyone else is harder to answer. What do YOU think about this one?
D. Is Mary Magdalene still alive?
This is a lesser known conspiracy that has numerous threads:
There is the version that Mary Magdalene and Jesus were lovers and because she received the holy seed of Jesus into her body she gain eternal life in the process.
There is another theory that, although she was not Jesus’ lover and had no sexual connection with him, Christ gave her the gift of immortality so that Mary could survive until The Second Coming – for more on this conspiracy see Topic #9 below and read the book that features Mary Magdalene in a prominent role opposing the Antichrist.
8. Movies about Mary Magdalene
There have been at least 7 movies and 1 theatrical play that focused on Mary Magdalene as the main character. They are:
Mary Magdalene (play), a play from 1910 by the Belgian playwright Maurice Maeterlinck;
Mary Magdalene, Close to Jesus (2000, Film): Employed as a spy and given the task of investigating the threat posed by John the Baptist, Mary Magdalene is overwhelmed by John’s powerful message of the coming of the Messiah. Gazing into John’s eyes before he dies, Mary is left with the certainty that her place is at the side of this great man, Jesus Christ.
Mary Magdalene & The Holy Grail (2005, Film): The legendary search for the Holy Grail continues in this doc. An investigation into Mary Magdalene’s true identity and whether or not the Holy Grail was truly found begins with controversial theories and ends with startling discoveries;
Something about Mary Magdalene (2007, Documentary): A Christian icon for two thousand years and the Church’s most legendary sinner-turned-saint, Mary Magdalene’s underestimated role in Christianity is finally coming to light. With compelling evidence, this revealing program tackles the myths about the infa
9. Mary Magdalene – the character from The Last Temptation of John Trilogy
The book series titled The Last Temptation of John is a work of fiction that features Mary Magdalene as one of the main characters.
The book synopsis is as follows…
What if the events detailed in The Book of Revelations were about to occur… this year?
Could anyone save us from certain death? The answer is YES. Hard as it may be to believe, St. John the Apostle, Mary Magdalene, and Lazarus are all still alive today – having been blessed with the Gift of Immortality so that they could survive to fight against the coming of The Antichrist. Unfortunately, over the course of the last 2,000 years, John has lost his faith and is no longer willing to help his partners – that’s a problem because the Antichrist is here..now!
Can Mary and Lazarus help John recover his faith in time to stop Armageddon or will Satan’s Son achieve Ultimate Victory? The answer to that question and many more will be revealed in the thrilling new book series The Last Temptation of John.
Read it the trilogy today… if your faith is strong enough.
Mary Magdalene – What’s YOUR Take?
Was Mary Magdalene a Saint or was she a sinner?
We may never know the answer for sure and it’s likely we’ll never collectively agree on what’s true or not, but one thing is certain, there’s definitely MORE to Mary Magdalene than anyone will ever know.
My marathon day of visions continued. After moving past the vision of Mary and Jesus, my second – and much more interesting – vision, was pretty deep — think Book of Revelations…
As best I could make out, I was witnessing a FUTURE event—for I was looking upon The Altar of The One True God at The Temple of Jerusalem and immediately I spied Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger, Pope Benedict XVI, the Ayatollah, and that crazy nut Bill Bates — all together.
Given the hordes of people covering the hillsides, I surmised that this was the much publicized ceremony that Rabbi Metzger was organizing to unite their religions in a new era of brotherly love. (Hogwash in my opinion, but who am I to object?)
My vision blurred for a moment, and when it returned, the entire mood had shifted; something was off – for the rabbi was now laying motionless upon The Altar — and peering closer I could see he was dead. Looking around, I also noticed three crosses in the background — they had an eerie resemblance to the ones back on Golgotha – especially since I saw figures on those crosses – crucified!
I strained my eyes to identify the victims – only to get a major shock – for the first body hanging limply on a cross was Lazarus!
I turned to the second cross – only to see Mary.
(Can you guess who was nailed to the third?)
Yes, it’s always unnerving to see yourself as a bloody corpse, but over the years, I’ve been stabbed, shot, and killed in so many ways that it doesn’t affect me much anymore. Instead what excited me about this vision was that, perhaps, just perhaps, this death would really take.
For if this prophecy was true, it seemed I was looking upon the event which I had been waiting nearly two thousand years for – my own death!
Whoopee!!
Now as I told you before, Mary, Lazarus, and I had all been made immortal so that we could stop the coming of The Antichrist. This was our Commission and if successful, we’d be assisting Jesus in his glorious return – unfortunately, it was a job at which we had failed miserably – many times.
For nearly two thousand years, we’d been on guard. At various times in the past, my friends and I thought The End Times were approaching and that the Antichrist walked the earth – yet upon every occasion we were wrong.
Now, however, it appeared that I was finally seeing a different vision – for it was the first which showed the deaths of The Immortals – which I always knew was a key to The End.
Unfortunately for the sake of The Commission, again it seemed that my friends and I had failed – for in my vision The Beast was very much alive, while we three were clearly dead. (Oops!)
Once more my vision got hazy. When next it cleared, I found myself riveted back to the altar – someone was standing there. It was a man who looks like everyman, yet no man. He was wearing a crown of thorns and blood was raining from his head. For a moment I thought it was Jesus, but suddenly I realized it was another – Bill Bates!
Or was it? For his face shifted, and I was left to wonder, Is it you, Lord? Are you really Bill Bates?
Yet there was no time to be sure, for now there was more activity over at the crosses. Something was being done to defile us — a figure in white was pushing a spear into the sides of our bodies.
That’s when I realized Lazarus and Mary were NOT dead after all – for I heard them scream as they got impaled!
Did that finally kill them? I had no time to ponder further, for now the mysterious murderer came over to me.
Entering my own body in my vision, I looked down upon my murderer, yet before I could make out his face, he pierced me too!
“YAAAWWWWWP!!!!” I wailed and even though it was a vision, it hurt like Hell!
To my horror I realized just what we had been speared by — This wasn’t the infamous Spear of Longinus, instead it was one our Nails… The Nails of Jesus Christ!
Immediately my soul began to separate from my body and I was floating away to… to?
As I felt my true self being torn from this world, my vision shifted back to The Altar.
Bill Bates was there and the figure in white was approaching him from behind.
Finally I could see his face clearly — it was none other than Joseph Ratzinger — Pope Benedict XVI!
Then it was that I made a shocking observation: Joseph was actually carrying The Nails – something no mortal had ever done and lived to tell about it.
Yet the pope was doing it — carefully he took each one and installed them in a glowing new crown – even as Bill Bates was removing his own crown of thorns.
His face a picture of <POWER!>, Bates was glowing with Victory. Meanwhile, Joseph face showed a sly smile as he lowered the crown filled with our Nails down upon Bates’ head…
<A Blinding Light from Above!>
And the vision expired.
Breathless, I was left with but one thought..
Can it really be true? My God, Pope Benedict will be responsible for the death of Bill Bates!
Like I was trying to tell you, today I received not one, but two new visions. Well, one was more of a memory and the other was a revelation…
At first, I was transported back in time to witness a conversation between Mary and Jesus – it must have been shortly before his death.
By the look of the surroundings it appeared they were somewhere in the hills of the Garden of Gethsemane.
“Why do you always talk of leaving us?” Mary asked. “Ever since we reached Jerusalem, the only thing you talk about is your death!”
(Hey, I’ll bet this was that same Passover day I just thought about. Yeah, I remember now, it was about mid-day when Jesus and Mary went off; Judas was away buying provisions, and the rest of us were preparing the room. How ironic – I was just thinking about that day, huh?)
“This is what Father has planned.” Jesus said. “It is my destiny.”
“But, what about me? Us?” Mary buried her face in his chest. “Stay with me. Together we can lead your flocks to salvation. Isn’t that what you want?” (See, I told you she wanted to be a leader).
“You will indeed have a hand in helping the world find salvation.” Jesus held her close. “But your destiny is not with me. I must be about my Father’s business.”
“You must die?!” Mary pulled back. “Your Father wants you to die? Why would he let Evil triumph over you? It doesn’t make sense!”
“Much of life doesn’t make sense while it is happening.” Jesus wiped Mary’s tears. “This is not The End. Once it is finished, you will understand.”
“So you are just going to let The Pharisees… kill you? You’re going to desert your disciples? Desert me? Desert the world you came to save?”
“It is the only way.” Jesus laid a hand on her shoulder.
“It’s not!” Mary pushed his hand away. “It’s not the only way. It’s YOUR way. I don’t agree!” (Ah, Mary, always the Drama Queen).
“It doesn’t matter what I want.” And more softly still. “Or what you want, Mary. The Son of Man must obey his Father’s will. You KNOW this is the case – Gabriel told you so.”
“Don’t tell me what The Angel said! Those visions are my own; given to me so that… so that… I can change the future if need be!”
“This is not one of those times, Mary.” Jesus cautioned. “Gabriel’s words are a gift. And later I will bless you with another gift. You will use them in the future to help this world. But, on this occasion, there is no action for you to take. What will be, will be.”
Mary’s shoulders slumped; even I could tell her heart was breaking.
“Please don’t leave me in my time of need, Mary.” Jesus extended a hand out to her. “I DO need you.”
The pain was evident in Jesus’ eyes as Mary looked at him. I watched as she began to reach out to take his hand, but then…
I would guess that here Mary realized that no matter what she did, it would not stop Jesus’ death and the thought of him being crucified was apparently too much for her to bear – for Mary suddenly cried out in agony and ran off – racing to escape her sorrow.
Jesus did not chase her.
Mary sought out the secluded confines of the stone hills to lament the situation – perhaps trying to work out a plan to change Jesus’ mind?
Whatever her plans may have been, as it turned out, Mary would not see Jesus again until he was captured and then crucified – and by then it was too late.
Suddenly I wondered – did she ever forgive herself for deserting her Lord?
For a brief moment I actually felt sorry for Mary.
For a brief moment I actually felt sorry for Mary.
But then I remembered a great song by The Rolling Stones and opened up a bottle of one of Budweiser Copper Lagers – that took my mind off Mary and put me in a better mood.
Unfortunately I couldn’t enjoy myself too much because I still had to tell you about that other revelation…